I’m sure all parents understand what I mean. Those oh-so-precious and all-too-rare moments when time seems to stand still and the world fades away, leaving only you and your sweet child, bound together so intensely, so profoundly, it almost hurts. Your heart wells with pride and love and, for some inexplicable reason, a bit of melancholy longing. Gazing into the eyes of this beloved child, your child, you feel tiny thankful tears prick the back of your own eyes. This tiny person, so full of innocence and promise, looks back with total trust and adoration. It is truly overwhelming.
The last step of Nadia’s bedtime routine is playing on Mommy and Daddy’s bed for a while. She loves this, and the promise of “Mommy’s bed” spurs her through the rest of the routine. Usually we only snuggle and play for a few minutes, but tonight she was still full of energy and exuberance so we stayed there for over half an hour. Finally we found ourselves back in her room.
As I laid her down in the crib, the familiar sounds of her bedtime music surrounding us, her eyes never left mine. She lay on her back gazing up at me, a small smile curling her rosebud lips. I stroked her silky hair back from her face and began to softly sing my all-time favorite lullaby, “All Through the Night.” Quiet moments like this area rare for Nadia, but tonight she seemed to relish my loving gestures. She turned her face into my hand and giggled softly, eyes still locked with mine. After a few moments she began to sing with me, her sweet toddler voice joining mine. “La la la” she sang, and her eyes shone.
My heart melted. I was overcome with tenderness and a fierce protectiveness . All the frustrations from a day with a stubborn toddler vanished. This is the epitome of motherhood. I never knew I could love so deeply.
As I slipped from her bedroom a few moments later, her sleepy voice called after me.
“Love you, Mama” murmured my angel baby.
I love you too, my Nadia. I love you.
